this is all I got…will you critique?
now you
feel important
cleverly comparing blatant agendas
to miraculous men
waxing on in sour fields
of costly efforts that let you down
only you
as true heroes die before us
turning lives filled with horror
spilt on precious sheets
releasing angry earned ink
and you
with your hollow halo
crushing a sad skull, clown-like
the heroes hear screams of ego
begging for the dumb to speak
and lift your burden
so you
can forgive yourself
and find solace in thorny absolution
where gilded beliefs refuse
to succumb to your denial
The first guy says… It’s got rhythm?
Ok…well, that makes no sense.
BUT… If this is all ya got…what happens when you got less then this?
Coz I like this!
- All your poetry makes me wanna lose feeling and fall outta my chair like a senseless blob…and I personally like poetry that does that to me! But.. It makes me wonder if you can write HAPPY stuff… could you, for me? *Puppy eyes* I like your way of writing so much that I wanna see it from you!
Gold leafing
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